Porn destroys relationships
Remember Newton and his third law of motion that every action has an equal and opposite reaction? That’s a fact that applies to every area of our life! If you or someone you know watches porn you should be aware that it has its consequences. One of the saddest outcomes of porn usage has been its detrimental effects on the consumer’s loved ones.
Is Porn really that toxic to relationships?
Porn is very harmful to relationships, especially to important ones like marriage or with a significant other.
Kartik* and Meera* have been married for 4 years. They had different work timings and schedules because of which they drifted a little in their communication and time together. They individually consumed porn out of sheer boredom and the absence of the other. Eventually, they tried watching it together to try and boost their intimacy with each other To their surprise, they found that they were more unhappy than before. After getting help they decided that they wouldn’t allow porn to ruin their marriage. They worked on finding time for each other, communicating better and most of all giving up their dependence on pornography. Today their marriage is much happier and stronger than ever.
Why viewing pornography affects relationships
If you are in a committed relationship you must watch out for the warning signs of relationship damage before it’s too late.
Boredom with reality
Porn elevates how you imagine sex. For one thing, what you see on screen doesn’t amount to genuine intimacy. It’s two actors playing a role. Porn makes you dream up unreal and sleazy scenarios which your real life partner may never agree to. This will cause you to assume that your regular sex life is dull and boring. You will then begin to look at your life with your partner with disinterest since they don’t seem to understand or even try to meet your needs.
Loss of quality time
Someone once said that love is spelled T-I-M-E. In any relationship, it is worthwhile to spend time with each other. No relationship ever got better or stronger by a couple consistently spending less time with each other. The viewing of pornography is time-consuming in every sense. Not only does it take up precious time it also waste your mind space! So imagine giving your partner a pathetically small portion of your day when you are already mentally and emotionally exhausted.
Unrealistic expectations
It doesn’t end there since it now starts to leak into what you expect of your partner. You notice that their body doesn’t look like anything you have seen on screen. That’s not all, you find that sex is not always on the table (pun not intended) because well, ordinary life doesn’t include constant sex or an always-ready partner.
These unrealistic and even outrageous demands would put a strain on even the best of relationships.
No boundaries so cheating is allowed
With the surging number of unmet expectations, the next best thing would seem the option of looking outside the relationship. Viewing pornography on the sly is in itself a breach of trust and boundaries so cheating doesn’t seem so bad anymore. What is often overlooked is that these boundaries are what makes a marriage or any relationship for that matter, safe and intimate. Cheating destroys this safety by inviting someone else into what is sacred and off-limits.
Lack of trust
The ultimate breach happens at the point when a couple can no longer trust each other. While watching porn seemed like a minor offence, what it has escalated to, seems too big and insurmountable an obstacle which inevitably causes a marriage to implode or a relationship to run its course.
Do you need help?
Have your relationships been suffering because of your secret habit? Do you feel like things are spiralling out of control in your relationship with your partner because of certain decisions you made? It’s never too late to take stock of where you are at and get help. Contact us if you would like to find healing in your relationships.