The private struggle to overcome porn addiction
Nina used to watch porn on her phone during her study breaks. Her parents caught her and grounded her for a while. She found it hard to face her parents after that and is still struggling to bring the relationship back to normal since she hasn’t fully gotten over her addiction to porn.
You have probably heard of the blame game but have you heard of the shame game? It’s not so much a game as it is a burden. It’s the never-ending desire to hide because of repeated failure.
If you are battling an addiction to pornography you would know what we are talking about. Watching pornography causes self-hate and shame just because of the graphic content. You don’t watch it in plain sight or with the permission of loved ones. It is usually hidden behind closed doors and watched when no one is around to pass judgment on you.
Shame makes an addiction stronger
It’s interesting how consuming porn regularly can cause you to feel ashamed yet will not move you to quit watching it. In fact, in spite of the lingering sensation of shame, you will continue to feed your addiction. It is essential therefore to come clean with yourself about how damaging your addiction is before you even talk about it with anyone else. Shame is such a personal emotion and therefore has to be rooted out by you alone. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to begin moving in the direction of getting help.
A hidden habit is still a damaging habit
Just because no one knows about it, doesn’t mean it’s not harmful to consistently watch porn. It’s harmful on so many levels because it doesn’t just affect you but will change the quality of your social interactions causing you to isolate yourself. As a result, you will find yourself alone and without any kind of accountability.
Accountability is the key
In order to beat the debilitating symptom of shame which accompanies the addiction to porn is having someone to who you are accountable. It should be someone who will understand the addiction and offer you empathy as well as be firm with you. Having someone like this could be a game changer in how you walk the road to recovery without constantly hiding behind shame
Guilt is healthy
While shame is an unhealthy emotion because it doesn’t produce tangible results, guilt is different. Guilt has all the potential to be a necessary emotion in bringing about a refreshing change in one’s lifestyle. Be prepared that when you are attempting to overcome the temptation to view porn, you will have your share of falling off the wagon. When you do, choose to feel guilt instead of shame. Feeling guilt will cause to realise that something’s got to change and that gives you the nudge to move forward to find your freedom.
Get help
If this is you, you don’t have to do the journey alone. Contact us so that we can journey with you in accountability as you find your way back to a healthy and robust life free of dependency on pornography. Find your people, the ones who will help you get rid of shame and walk into emotional freedom and relational health.